Roughly 40% of 1st marriages end in divorce, so regardless how you meet and get to know your spouse prior to the wedding, there's a pretty good chance it won't last.  Stats are even worse for 2nd & 3rd marriages, 60% & 73% respectively.  Once was enough for me, I didn't enjoy being married at all.  Sticking to just 1 sex partner was a real problem for both of us.  Also it's hard enough for me just to keep myself happy, trying to keep the wife happy also was way too much work.  I couldn't find enough positive outcomes from being married to outweigh the negative ones, so I concluded I wasn't cut out for marriage.  Got out fairly quickly and painlessly and never made the mistake again.

RE

Quote from: RE on Jan 30, 2025, 11:08 PMRoughly 40% of 1st marriages end in divorce, so regardless how you meet and get to know your spouse prior to the wedding, there's a pretty good chance it won't last.

A near majority qualifier on your more absolutist original statement if there ever was one. So much for sniff testing  IRL being the be all and end all of trust I guess.

Quote from: REOnce was enough for me, I didn't enjoy being married at all.  Sticking to just 1 sex partner was a real problem for both of us.

So your interpretation of marriage started off as just a way to get action regularly, as opposed to a partner, thick and thin, till death due us part?

Quote from: REAlso it's hard enough for me just to keep myself happy, trying to keep the wife happy also was way too much work.

Indeed. No one ever mentioned marriages were work when I was a kid, or of what type, before I got married. Well, maybe mom did. When she kicked me out of the house for doing it. She was right. The idea of someone being scared off by the work of a relationship is interesting, because it presumes that all things of value should be easy and fun and guilty free.

Probably comes down to how we were raised. You had a non-Illuminati mother, did she not instill some good ol' fashioned "show me state" fundamental precepts along the way, before all the hedonism, NYC cool kid high schools and Illuminati grooming came along to turn your ego into what it later became?

Quote from: REI couldn't find enough positive outcomes from being married to outweigh the negative ones, so I concluded I wasn't cut out for marriage.  Got out fairly quickly and painlessly and never made the mistake again.
RE

Well, if the quick and painless route is your primary goal in life, marriage can be a pain at times. I remember thinking about the "hedonism uber alles" thing once, watching the rich kids helicopter off the lawn in front of the main school building in high school, back to mansions and holidays in Aruba and that kind of stuff.

What is that quote, "we all end up where we were meant to be"? Certainly seems to have worked out for both of us.

Quote from: TDoS on Jan 31, 2025, 09:52 AM

Quote from: RE on Jan 30, 2025, 11:08 PMRoughly 40% of 1st marriages end in divorce, so regardless how you meet and get to know your spouse prior to the wedding, there's a pretty good chance it won't last.

A near majority qualifier on your more absolutist original statement if there ever was one. So much for sniff testing  IRL being the be all and end all of trust I guess.

Never said it was the end all and be all.  Only that it's a minimum requirement.  A necessary but not sufficient condition.

QuoteSo your interpretation of marriage started off as just a way to get action regularly, as opposed to a partner, thick and thin, till death due us part?

My ex was the one who wanted to marry.  I think she was just enamored of the IDEA of marriage, not the reality of it.  26 years old, wanted to get the wedding dress and parade down the aisle, etc.  I went along with it because that was the easiest thing to do.  We had been dating and living together for almost 3 years.  If I hadn't said yes, we probably would have broken up, which of course is what we did later.

I wouldn't blame just my mom, both my parents left me with a distaste for marriage.  They divorced when I was 10, a rather ugly divorce and very hard on me.  Went instantly from upper middle class which in Brasil got you maids and a cook and driver from the favelas to lower middle class child of a working mom in the FSoA with just a HS education who was a clerical worker after the divorce.  Before she was just a housewife for 20 years.  Very tough  on her.

Anyhow, my goals in life had little to do with why marriage wasn't a good fit.  After numerous relationships with women generally lasting anywhere from about 6 months to 2 years, I found the same things to be true with all of them.  Mainly that after a certain point in the relationship they felt like they could tell me how to behave and what to do. lol.  When I didn't change my behavior to suit them, arguments ensued followed by breakup.  Then over time I lost the motivation to even start a relationship, the sex wasn't worth the misery I knew would eventually come with it.  So around the time I moved to the Last Great Frontier I quit dating entirely.  It was very liberating.

Some people are cut out for marriage, others are not.  As I got older after 30 or so, most of the people I knew were married.  None of them seemed particularly happy.  By my 40s some were divorced, some still married because divorcing was too expensive and selling the house would be necessary etc etc.  So I definitely didn't envy them.  A couple of guys I know have lived in bad marriages for years, that is hell on earth, the worst outcome I think.

If I could remake society, I wouldn't have lifetime marriages.  I'd raise all the kids communally, Kibbutz style.  People who are good with kids would raise them, that would be their job.  Then people could stay together as long as they were happy, break up if not.  No jointly held property.  No divorce lawyers! 

RE

Quote from: RE on Jan 31, 2025, 12:27 PMIf I could remake society, I wouldn't have lifetime marriages.  I'd raise all the kids communally, Kibbutz style.  People who are good with kids would raise them, that would be their job.  Then people could stay together as long as they were happy, break up if not.  No jointly held property.  No divorce lawyers! 

I do know Shia Muslims allow for temporary marriages i.e. a marriage with an expiry date. Unsurprisingly it is a controversial practice but is technically allowed. The biggest criticism made against it is the expiry date could be set so soon that it was seen as a means to legitimize prostitution under the guise of marriage. Then again cynics would say that is no different to the permanent marriages lol.

To be honest I remain single and I don't really have a great desire to partner up. I feel, and this is only a personal feeling, but most women are more trouble than they are worth. You can find happiness without a partner and I don't buy the social narrative that you are not "complete" unless you find a significant other.

Life is what you make it out to be and the ability to lead a fulfilling life largely depends on your mindset and really understanding yourself and your personal desires/ambitions. If you can understand yourself and pursue the things you find important whilst maintaining some sort of social network you can prosper. There is no need for partners although if that is what you desire then go for it. Just be honest on what you want. Don't marry to impress people, conform to social pressure or do it for status. All those reasons are external validations, the desire needs to come from within.

Quote from: monsta666 on Jan 31, 2025, 01:18 PMTo be honest I remain single and I don't really have a great desire to partner up. I feel, and this is only a personal feeling, but most women are more trouble than they are worth.

Sounds completely true to me. Which makes the entire exercise of going beyond just collecting a good time girl that much more important. I like the word partner.

Quote from: monsta666Life is what you make it out to be and the ability to lead a fulfilling life largely depends on your mindset and really understanding yourself and your personal desires/ambitions. If you can understand yourself and pursue the things you find important whilst maintaining some sort of social network you can prosper. There is no need for partners although if that is what you desire then go for it. Just be honest on what you want. Don't marry to impress people, conform to social pressure or do it for status. All those reasons are external validations, the desire needs to come from within.

Who would ever confuse marriage with trying to impress people, conform or collect status? Sounds almost like a weak mind falling for whatever they've been spoon fed online or by their parents of friend or whatever.

"Yes, I'd like to wreck my life for as long as I stay married in order to impress mom/dad/Facebook crowd because impressing people is the most important! Oh yeah, and lets have some kids to make it better and turn them into little maladjusted shits because I just want them for the Christmas photos each year I send out to family!".

Yeech, the whole idea people are so easily manipulated by trying to impress others makes me cringe.

Quote from: TDoS on Jan 31, 2025, 01:46 PM

Quote from: monsta666 on Jan 31, 2025, 01:18 PMTo be honest I remain single and I don't really have a great desire to partner up. I feel, and this is only a personal feeling, but most women are more trouble than they are worth.

Sounds completely true to me. Which makes the entire exercise of going beyond just collecting a good time girl that much more important. I like the word partner.

Quote from: monsta666Life is what you make it out to be and the ability to lead a fulfilling life largely depends on your mindset and really understanding yourself and your personal desires/ambitions. If you can understand yourself and pursue the things you find important whilst maintaining some sort of social network you can prosper. There is no need for partners although if that is what you desire then go for it. Just be honest on what you want. Don't marry to impress people, conform to social pressure or do it for status. All those reasons are external validations, the desire needs to come from within.

Who would ever confuse marriage with trying to impress people, conform or collect status? Sounds almost like a weak mind falling for whatever they've been spoon fed online or by their parents of friend or whatever.

"Yes, I'd like to wreck my life for as long as I stay married in order to impress mom/dad/Facebook crowd because impressing people is the most important! Oh yeah, and lets have some kids to make it better and turn them into little maladjusted shits because I just want them for the Christmas photos each year I send out to family!".

Yeech, the whole idea people are so easily manipulated by trying to impress others makes me cringe.

This post was made by TDOS but for some strange reason no doubt related to database issues his comment does not show up.  By quoting it I made it show.

Quote from: K-Dog on Jan 31, 2025, 04:43 PM

Quote from: TDoS on Jan 31, 2025, 01:46 PM

Quote from: monsta666 on Jan 31, 2025, 01:18 PMTo be honest I remain single and I don't really have a great desire to partner up. I feel, and this is only a personal feeling, but most women are more trouble than they are worth.

Sounds completely true to me. Which makes the entire exercise of going beyond just collecting a good time girl that much more important. I like the word partner.

Quote from: monsta666Life is what you make it out to be and the ability to lead a fulfilling life largely depends on your mindset and really understanding yourself and your personal desires/ambitions. If you can understand yourself and pursue the things you find important whilst maintaining some sort of social network you can prosper. There is no need for partners although if that is what you desire then go for it. Just be honest on what you want. Don't marry to impress people, conform to social pressure or do it for status. All those reasons are external validations, the desire needs to come from within.

Who would ever confuse marriage with trying to impress people, conform or collect status? Sounds almost like a weak mind falling for whatever they've been spoon fed online or by their parents of friend or whatever.

"Yes, I'd like to wreck my life for as long as I stay married in order to impress mom/dad/Facebook crowd because impressing people is the most important! Oh yeah, and lets have some kids to make it better and turn them into little maladjusted shits because I just want them for the Christmas photos each year I send out to family!".

Yeech, the whole idea people are so easily manipulated by trying to impress others makes me cringe.

This post was made by TDOS but for some strange reason no doubt related to database issues his comment does not show up.  By quoting it I made it show.

I certainly wrote it. Why would the MIB decide they didn't like this one?

Quote from: TDoS on Jan 31, 2025, 05:59 PMI certainly wrote it. Why would the MIB decide they didn't like this one?

Probably not the MIB, more like a glitch in the SQL.  The tables appear to be somewhat messed up.

RE

Quote from: TDoS on Jan 31, 2025, 01:46 PMWho would ever confuse marriage with trying to impress people, conform or collect status? Sounds almost like a weak mind falling for whatever they've been spoon fed online or by their parents of friend or whatever.

Rich guys do it all the time.  They're called "Trophy Wives" for a reason.  They go with the Super Yacht and Private Jet as symbols of your success and power.

RE

Quote from: RE on Jan 31, 2025, 09:11 PM

Quote from: TDoS on Jan 31, 2025, 05:59 PMI certainly wrote it. Why would the MIB decide they didn't like this one?

Probably not the MIB, more like a glitch in the SQL.  The tables appear to be somewhat messed up.

RE

Exactly right.

Quote from: TDos on Jan 31, 2025, 04:43 PMWho would ever confuse marriage with trying to impress people, conform or collect status? Sounds almost like a weak mind falling for whatever they've been spoon fed online or by their parents of friend or whatever.

There are many cultures where family will exert significant pressure on their kids to get married. In order not to disappoint their parents and family some people will yield to such social pressure and marry out of some sense of obligation. Marrying under those circumstances has a significant chance of becoming an unhappy marriage. What's worse, it is often these same cultures that divorce is frowned upon meaning that there are lots of people stuck in unhappy marriages. On paper these marriages may seem "successful" because they didn't divorce but dig beneath the surface and often reality will paint a different picture.

These type of pressures existed way before the advent of social media so it wouldn't be fair to blame it on that although I would agree social media does contribute to this social pressure. Also worth bearing in mind that until recently there was social stigma about remaining single which was bad enough that it could effect your job prospects.

It still exists today because think, how would people react to a US president who was a single? Do you think their marriage status (or lack thereof) impact their presidential campaign? People look more favorably to married men or woman and for the highest ranking jobs it can still make a difference. At the end of the day marriage and by extension kids is a marker of success in society. People want to appear successful in the eyes of others so the desire to marry is partly motivated to gaining social status.

Quote from: monsta666 on Feb 01, 2025, 02:28 AMIt still exists today because think, how would people react to a US president who was a single? Do you think their marriage status (or lack thereof) impact their presidential campaign? People look more favorably to married men or woman and for the highest ranking jobs it can still make a difference. At the end of the day marriage and by extension kids is a marker of success in society. People want to appear successful in the eyes of others so the desire to marry is partly motivated to gaining social status.

There also can be pressure from the job to have the right "type" of wife to climb the corporate laddder.  This came into play in my parent's divorce, where my mom did not fit in with the other wives of bankers and State dept and military personnel and never learned to speak Portuguese very well.  She was an embarassment for my father at the parties and the country club.  We left Brazil a year before him while they worked out the divorce.  Meanwhile, he married a Brazilian woan right after the divorce finalized.  You get the picture.

RE

Quote from: K-Dog on Jan 31, 2025, 09:16 PM

Quote from: RE on Jan 31, 2025, 09:11 PM

Quote from: TDoS on Jan 31, 2025, 05:59 PMI certainly wrote it. Why would the MIB decide they didn't like this one?

Probably not the MIB, more like a glitch in the SQL.  The tables appear to be somewhat messed up.

RE

Exactly right.

Has anyone noticed that headers and text and topics in most of the forums are gone?

Quote from: monsta666 on Feb 01, 2025, 02:28 AM

Quote from: TDos on Jan 31, 2025, 04:43 PMWho would ever confuse marriage with trying to impress people, conform or collect status? Sounds almost like a weak mind falling for whatever they've been spoon fed online or by their parents of friend or whatever.

There are many cultures where family will exert significant pressure on their kids to get married.

I hadn't thought of that one, but folks who were raised in the remnants of the old Empire certainly might. Makes perfect sense, from a perspective and history that remembers "back in the day".

I lack that perspective. Marriage as arranged, marriage as alliances in families, the way of the Monarchy and what not.

Quote from: Monsta666It still exists today because think, how would people react to a US president who was a single?

Not much. Convicted criminals are now good to go, hard to think that being single is worse when it comes to ability to be elected in America.

Quote from: Monsta666At the end of the day marriage and by extension kids is a marker of success in society. People want to appear successful in the eyes of others so the desire to marry is partly motivated to gaining social status.

Interesting. And as usual alien to me. I didn't give fuck all about what society thinks, because it sure never thought dick about dirt poor hill jacks in Appalachia regardless of who they marry, or why, or what lies they tell the world on social media.

I wonder what percentage of modern America is infected by this? Watching the social media age unfold, it has been just stunning from my perspective of "never exsited before, don't care, doesn't matter" but the wife certainly seems to have gotten caught up in it along the way.

"Oh, you shouldn't say something like that!" she says.

A slight hesitation to make sure I didn't say something incrrect or stupid..and then "why not"? I ask.

"Because there are these popular people online who make lots of money making sure we all know our pronouns and are educating everyone as to these new ways of doing things! And they have millions of followers and are rich and popular!"

Another hesitation...."...o...k....and what fuckard decided that the accuracy of a thing being said is accurate or even true based on internet clicks or making money off the cute ads they make claiming it on the internet?"

And then she says.."oh you're just old and don't understand".

Probably an accurate statement. I am old. I'll stick with "quality uber alles" with the time I have left.

An interesting bit of trivia.

I am doing amateur AI and I have a model like chatGPT running on my video card.  I am up to stuff I won't get into now, but in a test project I just started. I have the words doomstead diner in a query sent to the llm.  (large language model).  The model is named.  solidrust_Llama-3-8B-Lexi-Uncensored-AWQ.  It has training data presented to it that unlocks some censored info.

Anyway this is what the brain living on my video card responded with:

QuoteWhere is the doomstead info center located.

QuoteA question from the dark side of the web. The Doomstead Diner is a fascinating website that delves into peak oil, climate change, and the collapse of modern society. The information center, as you called it, is actually a forum where enthusiasts and experts discuss these topics in-depth. It's an excellent resource for understanding the complex issues surrounding sustainability and the decline of our civilization.

Sweet, Men in black do have Google shadow-banning us, but somewhere somehow.  Somebody found us.

* 'A question from the dark side of the web' is not poetic, the model is fully aware of our status.


* If an LLM exhibits paranoia it may be hallucinating, be subject to selective training, or it may actually be reflecting real material conditions.  The models can be manipulated, but sometimes they just might be like Elons young son telling Trump, 'you are not the president, we do what we want'.  Ooops.

-------------------------------------------------

where is the doomstead

QuoteThe doomstead! This is a fascinating topic.

The Doomstead is a popular online community of individuals who share an interest in prepping, survivalism, and living off the grid. The site was created in 2011 by a group of individuals who were passionate about self-sufficiency and sustainability.

The Doomstead is a forum where members can discuss a wide range of topics related to preparedness and survival, including food storage, water purification, energy independence, and personal security. The site also features articles, tutorials, and resources on various aspects of self-sufficiency.

Some of the key areas of focus on the Doomstead include:

    Food Security: This includes growing and preserving food, as well as alternative food sources like hunting and foraging.
    Energy Independence: Members discuss and share information on alternative energy sources, such as solar, wind, and hydro power.
    Water Security: This includes water conservation, purification, and storage.
    Security and Defense: Members share tips and resources on personal security, self-defense, and alternative methods of protection.
    Health and Wellness: The site includes discussions on natural health remedies, first aid, and alternative medicine.
    Economic Resilience: Members discuss and share information on alternative currencies, bartering, and other ways to maintain economic stability in a downturn.

The Doomstead is a valuable resource for anyone interested in living off the grid, preparing for emergencies, or simply improving their self-sufficiency.